Power Interviewing

I have been unemployed for a few weeks now and if there is one thing I have noticed it is that I really like interviewing. So far I have been offered every job I have interviewed for, unfortunately they are not really jobs that I care to take at this point. Some of the interviews have been for; personal financial advisor (rip off), electronic sales (I think I am done with sales), management trainee (who wants to work 49 hours a week), some various telephone sales jobs, and of course my most recently held job...used cars.

Let me give you a few tips from my Power Interviewing.

First, never ever be on time. For my first interview I was ten minutes late, since then I have been at least 20-30 minutes late for all of my interviews. Being late to an interview shows that you are confident and do not let stress get you. Sometimes if I am running in the 30 minutes late range I will call ahead, this shows that you are responsible.

Second, try as hard as you can to use names of the people you met in the office, even if you aren't good with names. For one interview I showed up and asked the receptionist for "Pierre" it turns out the guy's name was "Paul" but that did not stop me from calling him "Pierre" the rest of the interview. He actually only corrected me the first time and then just let it slide from there. At another interview the conversation went a bit like this;
Me: "Yeah so I don't know how Mark runs things"
Interviewer: "Actually I am Mark"
Me: "Ohh I mean Dave"
Interviewer: "?"
Me: "Todd?"
Interviewer: "?"
Me: "?"
Me: "So anyway I was talking to Sharon on my way in..."
Interviewer: "Ohh you mean Shelly"
Me: "Totally"
This type of conversation shows that you go out of your way to make new friends in the workplace, potential employers love it.

Third, always dress like you own the place. I always wear a suit and a tie, no matter what the position. It is also key to accessories, I always wear sunglasses (some Donald Trumps I picked up at TJMaxx, super classy, and big). And perhaps the most important thing you could do; always carry a brief case or attache case, I prefer the attache I think it looks more modern. You don't need to carry anything in here it is just for looks. I only carry protein bars and a few copy's of my resume. The resume is just because I am lazy, whenever they hand me anything to fill out I just hand them a resume, I bought some expensive paper I might as well. Having the attache case and the killer suit makes it look like you are big wheel, this is the vibe you want to give off. Everyone wants to hire a big wheel.

Fourth, If they sit you close enough to their desk you should pick up things and play with them. If they sit you too far away to reach anything you should look around the office and find something to talk about. It is okay to get up and walk around, no one wants to be stared at while they are talking, that is creepy.

Fifth, If they ask you questions you don't know how to answer let them answer. Example;
Interviewer: "What type of experience do you have that makes you think you would fit into this company?"
Me: "I guess I don't know what you are looking for"
Interviewer: "Well it says here you have some experience in sales and managing several people, I think that would really help you as a sales manager"
Me: "Totally"

Finally be confident with your answers. The easiest way to do this is not to worry about what questions they ask and just talk about what you feel like talking about. Here is an example;
Interviewer: "How would you handle an angry customer?"
Me: "I don't understand why you would ask a questions like that? I guess I don't know what answer you are looking for?"
Interviewer: "Well it is just a question to see how you handle stress and pressure"
Me: "Ohh, I am fine with that stuff. Back when I was playing hockey I used to give interviews naked after the game....Is that your dog?"
We went on to talk about dogs while she walked me around the office and asked if I could start on Monday.

So basically the key to any job interviews is to act like you already own the place; show up late, dress killer, the attache case, only answers questions you feel like answering, always use names of people you just met even if they are wrong, and be confident with everything.

This reminds me, I have question for any of my readers. How long do you wait to CreepBook a really hot lady who interviewed on you? I was thinking a couple of days? ...I hope that is too long because I already creeped her.

Keep it sleazy