Power Interviewing Cont.

A very important part of Power Interviewing is lame jokes.

Like pretty much every other aspect of Power Interviewing lame jokes show confidence. The fact that they are also lame lets the interview feel like they are smarter then you. This is important because they think they are going to be your boss, and much like your girlfriend your boss wants to feel superior.

Here are some examples of the lame jokes I have used;
Interviewer: "So what do you think your greatest strength is?"
Me: "Well I have improved my bench press a lot but I am still a squat man"
Interviewer: (clearly confused by a workout joke) "Ummmmm", (you could actually see it click) "Ohh hahaha".
After this she stopped asking questions and showed me around the office and asked if I could start Monday.

Example 2 (This is from the job I actually took selling used cars, I was interviewed by 8 people at the same time in a conference room. I was 20 minutes late for this interview and asked for Pierre when apparently the guys name was Paul.);
Interviewer: "Do you have any bad habits?"
Me: "What do you mean like chewing my finger nails?"
Interviewer: "No like drinking or drugs"
Me: "No I can stop whenever I want"
Interviewer: "Drugs or drinking?"
Me: "Drugs, I don't drink.....why are you buying?"
All Interviewers: "Hahaha, (used car salesmen laughter, used car salesman jokes)
Interviewer: "So any questions for us?"
Me: "How are you gonna pay me?"
Interviewer: "What do you know about cars?"
Me: "When I said Hello I told you everything I know about cars"
Interviewer: "What do you know about selling?"
Me: "As much as I know about cars"
Interviewer: "Can you start tomorrow?"

I was really trying to bomb this interview, it was one of my first ones so I just wanted to see what they were like. Eventually they finally fired me which was something I wanted to happen because I didn't like trying to rip people off, but that's a few more good stories.

Slater

Power Interviewing

I have been unemployed for a few weeks now and if there is one thing I have noticed it is that I really like interviewing. So far I have been offered every job I have interviewed for, unfortunately they are not really jobs that I care to take at this point. Some of the interviews have been for; personal financial advisor (rip off), electronic sales (I think I am done with sales), management trainee (who wants to work 49 hours a week), some various telephone sales jobs, and of course my most recently held job...used cars.

Let me give you a few tips from my Power Interviewing.

First, never ever be on time. For my first interview I was ten minutes late, since then I have been at least 20-30 minutes late for all of my interviews. Being late to an interview shows that you are confident and do not let stress get you. Sometimes if I am running in the 30 minutes late range I will call ahead, this shows that you are responsible.

Second, try as hard as you can to use names of the people you met in the office, even if you aren't good with names. For one interview I showed up and asked the receptionist for "Pierre" it turns out the guy's name was "Paul" but that did not stop me from calling him "Pierre" the rest of the interview. He actually only corrected me the first time and then just let it slide from there. At another interview the conversation went a bit like this;
Me: "Yeah so I don't know how Mark runs things"
Interviewer: "Actually I am Mark"
Me: "Ohh I mean Dave"
Interviewer: "?"
Me: "Todd?"
Interviewer: "?"
Me: "?"
Me: "So anyway I was talking to Sharon on my way in..."
Interviewer: "Ohh you mean Shelly"
Me: "Totally"
This type of conversation shows that you go out of your way to make new friends in the workplace, potential employers love it.

Third, always dress like you own the place. I always wear a suit and a tie, no matter what the position. It is also key to accessories, I always wear sunglasses (some Donald Trumps I picked up at TJMaxx, super classy, and big). And perhaps the most important thing you could do; always carry a brief case or attache case, I prefer the attache I think it looks more modern. You don't need to carry anything in here it is just for looks. I only carry protein bars and a few copy's of my resume. The resume is just because I am lazy, whenever they hand me anything to fill out I just hand them a resume, I bought some expensive paper I might as well. Having the attache case and the killer suit makes it look like you are big wheel, this is the vibe you want to give off. Everyone wants to hire a big wheel.

Fourth, If they sit you close enough to their desk you should pick up things and play with them. If they sit you too far away to reach anything you should look around the office and find something to talk about. It is okay to get up and walk around, no one wants to be stared at while they are talking, that is creepy.

Fifth, If they ask you questions you don't know how to answer let them answer. Example;
Interviewer: "What type of experience do you have that makes you think you would fit into this company?"
Me: "I guess I don't know what you are looking for"
Interviewer: "Well it says here you have some experience in sales and managing several people, I think that would really help you as a sales manager"
Me: "Totally"

Finally be confident with your answers. The easiest way to do this is not to worry about what questions they ask and just talk about what you feel like talking about. Here is an example;
Interviewer: "How would you handle an angry customer?"
Me: "I don't understand why you would ask a questions like that? I guess I don't know what answer you are looking for?"
Interviewer: "Well it is just a question to see how you handle stress and pressure"
Me: "Ohh, I am fine with that stuff. Back when I was playing hockey I used to give interviews naked after the game....Is that your dog?"
We went on to talk about dogs while she walked me around the office and asked if I could start on Monday.

So basically the key to any job interviews is to act like you already own the place; show up late, dress killer, the attache case, only answers questions you feel like answering, always use names of people you just met even if they are wrong, and be confident with everything.

This reminds me, I have question for any of my readers. How long do you wait to CreepBook a really hot lady who interviewed on you? I was thinking a couple of days? ...I hope that is too long because I already creeped her.

Keep it sleazy

The Beginning

So a few of my friends thought it would be a good idea if I started a blog of my life. It turns out no matter what I try to do with my life it some how turns into sitcom material, I wish it wasn't that way but I suppose things are funnier this way.

Everything I write will be true, I will not exaggerate or fabricate any stories.

Let's just jump right into some background information.

Well I am currently 25 years old and as of right now unemployed, I was recently fired from selling used cars because I was "to honest and trying to hard to find people the right vehicles", apparently these are not good traits for a used car salesman. In my defense I was trying not to be hired during the interview and I was only hired because they thought I was famous because I used to play professional hockey.

I live with my two roommates (parents) and my two younger brothers just moved back home for the summer.

When I first thought of this blog idea the plan was to tape record my daily conversations, especially while I was trying "not" to sell cars but I believe it will be more a combination of stories from my past and present with the occasional recording thrown in.

Keep it real until next time.